15 April 2020; What I see in my zoom

Reflective - Susanna Brow

A second-hand baggy T-shirt under a woolly top

An ageing face defined collar bones

A critic of herself but now forgiving, practising gentleness

With herself for the sake of others, she knows this is the way forward

She stumbles but holds her inner critic at arm’s length practicing the dissolving of this mighty monster

She is loved, and surprised by love

Always

She knows Stillness but resists

She sees her father, criticising, asking for more and more and more and more

Than she can give

She sees resolve to take her own path

She feels pride in staying the course even after many hurts and falls

She knows Joy

She feels gratitude

She sees glasses on others. Contemplating themselves, loving, reflecting, defining, undefining

Souls

Being

She feels young and old

Is image important? Only if you think so

Once you can subtract yourself from your thought, create distance – the image becomes

Laughable, fun, reflective

I see sagging cheek skin and I feel negatively about it

I see turtley neck skin, but I actually I enjoy my ageing neck skin – like an African necklace with many rings, many experiences. It’s enough to hold my head high

I rest my head on these age marks

Let the eyes be open

Let the eyes see beyond the saggy second-hand skin and T-shirt

Be still. Be forgiving

Understand there are stories within stories

Framing me is useful so long as I can sit inside it knowing that there is endlessness inside

The young girl with her joyful excitement has gone now

But she is still here, isn’t she?