26 April 2020 - Going to work

Going to work - Fiona Hewerdine

Up at 6
sandwiches made
spelling books found
children located 
ok people out of your PJs 
wash your faces and hands 
school uniform is in a heap by your bed
where it fell 
clean undies 
you'll have to hunt for those I stole yesterday's

Ok baby, who has escaped again 
(the joys of learning to Crawl)
Plan B Tether baby in highchair
Child one and two are on Coco Pops 
hubby on wandering Weet-Bix
briefcase and Cat feeding duties 
ok now kiss hubby one down 
goodbye xxx 3 to go 

I found your fluffy blanket,
right ,breastfeeding tiny 
balance on the sink, while I wash up 
scoop up and transfer to the settee
toast balanced on the arm of the chair
saves the need to wash a plate 
keep feeding number 3
do flash cards with number one
(note to self should have done spelling last night )
Child 2 has jumper on back to front
ok try again and again and again
Arms in Arms,front at the front ,
you did it..This needs a cheer.

Now the clock is ticking
the school teacher who gives you "the look" over her horn rims, is on duty today and whoops I'm late, with three under-fives 
this may become my new name
the late Fiona Hewerdine. 
So the adrenaline is rising
ok kids' we need to take this up a notch
grab a flannel ..that's done faces of 1 and 2 everyones been sent off for the exit pee
And to find a coat.

The baby ,oh yes the baby
tucked under my arm to prevent escaping
she needs processing, a little bit like McDonald's; spotlick-wash, baby grows on nappy found 
tiktok goes the clock 
out of the house 
into the car seat 
woolly hat on 
locked in place 
back into the house lots of coaching 
into coats, who's got hats? school bags? reading book ?pack lunches?
Herding like a sheepdog 
shepherding the children in to the car 
we are nearly there ....
we might dodge the horn rimmed look 
seat belts on click off, click on ,click off, hooray everybody's installed 
we sing a rendition of the Wheels on the Bus
To celebrate and just for fun

I reverse 

but wait 

I'm freezing

I'm busting for a pee 

What to do??

based on past experience ; the toothbrush toothpaste, curling tongs and lipstick are in the dashboard .....emergency essentials
Horned rim won't know that:
I slept in my work clothes 
put on zooming lipstick 
as I drove down the road 

The joys of pre-work Anarchy... we made it.