7 April 2020 - List 7 things you see, write about one...

I am living with a monsteria. Sophia Paskell

Or is it a monstera? Im not sure, but it certainly is a monster. It is invading my home, creeping in like the fear of Covid 19.

Insidious damaging fear that is making people behave so unkindly. It hurts to watch the fear creating monsters out of every day people. I see the nasty comments in the facebook feeds. The bullying, the shaming, the judgements, the insults and the projections. "You fool, you went surfing, shame on you".

And shame sits so heavy. Dense and grey like a concrete block. Shame is so easily flung around and then it lands on you, and you are frozen. Frozen in shame. It takes such deep work to melt it, to free yourself from it. 

I even see the police publicly shaming people. "Look at this idiot" they say. They press Post. And there it is for all to join in the societal bullying.

Fear breeds bullying. 

Fear is like a line of dot to dot, trying to connect all of the people. I got ya! Now to the next person, I got ya! It’s a game of tag. An energy that snowballs, hitting the girl who didn't want to play hard in the back of the head while she sits on the school bench trying to read her book:

"You are it, you are it, you are it in a bucket of shit".

But the crazy thing is we are not in the school yard. We are so called "adults". It’s a smack in the face that adults can be so much meaner.

I watch it all quietly, sneakily triggering her and then him and then her.... The confused justification gets dragged down by concrete shame.

Shame on you! And then it is.

But I woke up this morning and saw the blue sky. Balls of fluffy clouds dot along the blue in an unfamiliar way. I can easily disconnect from the bullies, I can be an unfamiliar cloud that floats above it all feeling freshly brand new like this day.